I was in Japanese class and my professor said something to us that was none other than pure truth. "The second to last week of school is always the darkest. But when the following week comes you will start to see the light at the end of the dark tunnel. Even if its a small light, it will hold you together!" I'm paraphrasing here but this is what I interpreted it as. What she said is true for any year of college, but it couldn't feel more true now that I am a senior about to graduate.

Yesterday someone asked me if  I'm counting down the days until the last day of classes and/or graduation. I told them yes, I had just looked at my calendar and realized that there are approximately 9 days left until the last day of classes, and about 24 days until I graduate. But, knowing the number didn't make me feel relieved, stressed, or anxious. I just read it as a number because I really can't grasp that this is all going to stop in just a couple of weeks. When you're here for long enough, it feels like a never ending cycle. And rightly so; we have all been in academic institutions since we were the small small age of 5 or 6 (maybe even younger for some). To think that after finals I will be done seems like a joke someone's playing on me; I don't really believe it. So as a result, I've been just single tasking throughout my day; making sure I'm getting the things I need to get done, done.




To keep me alive and less like an academic zombie, I said fuck it and bought a fish. His name is Bruce Maximus (Fabio the 3rd) My friend came up with Bruce and I came up with Maximus. My other friend suggested Fabio as a joke but we found it so funny and couldn't let it go. Thus, we added it to the name in parenthesis as well as my friend's favorite ending "the 3rd." Why a fish? Well, if I was allowed to I would have probably bought a bird, or maybe even a bunny. But because I live in a dorm, the smell and sounds would bother my residents (and me). Not to mention I have two dogs at home that would freak out if they saw either of these animals. I just wanted something to care for besides a plant. Even if I won't be in the states for much longer, I wanted a pet to call my own and enjoy my time with while I slave at my desk. His company has helped me more than I thought it would have. I've been feeling really satisfied--being able to take care of a living thing. My dogs aren't here with me so Bruce has really helped fill that void. He just swims around in his bowl with a squinted stare and lives his life; a good life.

I'll just keep swimming with him while I attempt to survive these dark hours of my senior year. We're nearing the end, and pretty soon we'll be swimming to the end of the tunnel where we can see a small pinch of light and hope (and maybe a bed.)