Goodbye 2013: I'm ready to be me
5:20 PM
2013 taught me that there’s no one who’s going to hold your hand anymore. 2013 taught me to stand on my own two feet and say, “no more.” 2013 taught me to be honest, even if it hurts. 2013 was rough and, to be honest, really weird, but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. 2013 toughened me up. 2013 helped me see who’s a real friend, and who is not. 2013 helped heal my broken heart. 2013 was a battle, but I’m ready to do away with war. To 2014: I’m ready to be me.
I am ready to put 2013 behind me. In ways I'd like do think that this year has made me a bit jaded about life, and possibly less trusting. But in other ways I'd like to think that I became a lot stronger because of 2013. I believe that things always happen for a reason, so despite 2013 having a lot of negative events in my life and in the lives of those who are close to me, it happened for some cosmic reason, and we have learned from them.
I'm not a push over anymore. I mean, I am still a little too gullible for my own good which doesn't help me when I'm teased. HOWEVER, no longer do I just do what people tell me. I am my own person and I now know what is good for me and what is bad. When something in my life becomes toxic, I learned to just take a step back and reflect about it. These are the lessons that I'm thankful for from 2013.
Here are some final happy moments before the end of this year:
Ed and I went to NYC to have a Christmas date <3 I had such a great time walking in the city with him! This was the first time I've been to the city on my own without my parents besides NY comic con so I was really excited to walk the city with Ed on my own :)
Everything was so pretty, I had never seen the city during Christmas time before! I probably did when I was little, but who remembers that shit. NOW I HAVE MEMORIES. I was smiling so much omg. So ridiculously happy being there with him. I'm really happy we got to spend the holidays together <3
We ate at this Japanese restaurant and their ramen was TO DIE FOR. We didn't speak for a good five minutes because we were too busy eating the deliciousness of this ramen. 10/10 would eat again. We decided it was on par with our other favorite Japanese restaurant, Tsukasa.
Look at us being stupid.
The next day I went to one of my best friends house to see her and her precious horses!!! Her family owns a horse farm so I got to spend time with the new horses and some horses that she spent her whole life with <3 This is oscar!! He is a hugger, so you know I just had to jump in and give him a hug. HE HUGGED ME RIGHT BACK I WAS SO EXCITED LOOK AT HIM WHAT A CUTE!!!!!!
I got to ride Rosie <3 Her personality reminded me of my mother, which made me love her even more. She has the same stare that is like "who are you. and what business do you have with me." I look really weird here but not to worry, I was trying to focus on my friends instructions on how to ride Rosie without her thinking I was a complete freak :)
Her house was beyond beautiful and I was so happy to have had time with her before I leave for Japan <3
THIS!!!!!!!!! My very first Pandora bracelet <3 One of my friends has one and I didn't really see what the big deal was, but the more I thought about what the charms really mean for the bracelet it made sense to me. I never thought I would get one though, I never own real jewlery like this. My type of jewelry is like.......target. BUT THIS WAS A CHRISTMAS PRESENT!!! My face lit up when the clerk put it on my wrist. I am still wearing it <3 Thank you so much Ed <3 This is a present that I will treasure forever!
I dyed my hair for Japan and send a picture to my host family In Japan! I look more like my mother with this hair, which is a little scary but at least I look more mature! (My baby face fools no one)
To be honest, I am done with 2013. I need this year to be officially over in the calendars, and I need a new beginning. I don't need new things, or new people in my life (I am perfectly happy with who I have beside me.) What I need is a new sense of self, and a new mindset. So here are my resolutions:
1. Do away with envy and petty jealousy. I find myself very jealous about things that I really shouldn't be jealous about. I want to get rid of this bad habit.
2. Be more compassionate and mindful. I learned a shit ton about mindfulness this semester, psychologically and spiritually, so I really want to put my knowledge to good use.
3. Even if there is no time for art, make time. This semester was the worst with forgetting about art. I never want this to happen to me again.
4.Continue to work on loving myself. Self explanatory.
5. Hoard less things. One of my fears is that I'm going to end up on TLC's worlds extreme hoarders. Those people buried under their shit until they realize that they left a piece of bread in their closet for 20 years is going to be me.
6. Meditate at least once a week. This one is a stretch, but the meditation I did this semester really made a difference for me so I want to try and keep going.
7. Read a book for fun. A college student's biggest challenge.
8. Learn to cook better for Christ's sake. I need to learn more dishes other than macaroni and cheese. Who ever marries me will shake their heads in disappointment.
9. never stop being me. I have the tendency to hide who I am for the sake of others. It's time for me to stand proud.
10. Never stop speaking Japanese. This might be easy.
11. Work hard in school. Obligatory resolution
12. Don't cry over spilled milk. I am biggest cry baby. THIS MUST STOP.
13. Pray. I stick to my faith
14. It's okay to wear your heart on your sleeve <3
Goodbye, 2013.
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